


Pray to your God

by pagesofwrittenwings



Series: These Damn Kids [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, Suicidal Thoughts, based off of episode 5, everything is fine, not a really happy fic, rain of sorrows, rewatched the episode and thought of this, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 03:13:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15209645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pagesofwrittenwings/pseuds/pagesofwrittenwings
Summary: "I will give you a moment to pray to your God.""Unfortunately there isn't a god I believe in."But still, Ed wondered. If this stranger did kill him, and he met Truth again, what would he say?My thoughts on what was going through Ed's head when he first meets Scar*Standalone fic, not required at all to read the first part*





	Pray to your God

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! As what was said in the summary, this fic is a standalone and is not at all related to the other part in this series. But if you like this and are interested in reading Just A Kid I won't stop you :D and no this totally wasn't me just ignoring the new chapter that needs to be written for JaK, what you mean 0.0
> 
> But seriously, I was rewatching some early FMA:B episodes and came across the episode where we truly met Scar for this first time and all I could think of what was going through Ed's head during the whole 'almost dying' scene. 
> 
>  
> 
> THIS HAS SOME FAIRLY DARK THOUGHTS FROM ED IN THE END. Seriously, if you have ANY triggers for suicidal thoughts or something like that please hit that back button.

A strange flash of light came out of the stranger’s hand and before Edward could blink, his right arm was gone. The shock that went through his body threw him back onto the cold, hard pavement below him. He could see the pieces of his arm scattered, the metal fingers bent unnaturally, the multitude of gears and screws already soaked and most likely already starting to rust. Somewhere in the back of his head he could hear Alphonse screaming for him to run away as he felt a freezing wave of terror to go through his body as he stared up at the sarred stranger. 

_‘Shit, shit shit!’_ Was all the young Alchemist could think, trying to will his legs to move dammit. Edward began to back away but due to his missing arm he fell hard on to the port imbedded his shoulder, causing the already aching limb to blossom with even more pain. For a moment all he could do was lay there on the ground, the rain soaking him to the bone. 

“I will give you a moment to pray to whatever God you believe in.” The stranger said, his steps causing ripples in the growing puddles.

Ed froze where he was. A God he believed in? For a moment all he could see was the blinding white room that should’ve felt freezing but had a weird feeling of just _nothing_ , a room that seemed to have no end. He could almost feel all of those little black hands grabbing him again as they slowly- 

_(so slowly god it hurts someone please)_

 

-Tore his limbs and skin into nothingness, before putting them back together so much faster. But they left one piece out, than two pieces. And after the little hands left, there was that creepy figure just sitting there, flashing him the biggest, most unnatural teeth-filled smile. Stretching so wide on it’s face. Speaking to him with a voice that seemed to consist of multiple people and not one. Calling itself Truth. Still smiling as he was dragged away again by those hands, tearing into him _again_ and _again_ as he as dragged into what he can only describe as Hell.

Ed said the first thing that came to mind, “Unfortunately, there isn’t a god I’d like to pray to,” before slightly turning his head to look at the scarred stranger. “Am I the only one you’re hunting down today, or are you going after my brother too?”

“If he tries to interfere I will eliminate him, but Fullmetal you are the only one receiving judgment today. You alone.”

Ed thought on those words. If this stranger was going to kill him, and he actually did meet Truth again, what would he say? 

Well, punching Truth in it’s smug face and saying the words ‘Fuck you and fuck this place’ came to mind. And he would most likely follow it up with a lecture that would make both Granny and Lieutenant Riza proud. Because seriously, in what world is ripping apart two stupid kids for wanting to bring their mother back? _What the fuck Truth!_ And even if it wasn’t that, why wasn’t it Ed who lost his body? Ed who had been the one to find the research, who had convinced and begged Al to help him do it, promised Al that everything would go back to the way that it was. _Where’s the justification in that you asshole?!_ Ed was the one who deserved losing his body. 

Maybe that’s what he would bring up to Truth instead. Just _why?_ _Why_ had it been Al? His younger brother had already been having trouble sleeping and eating before they tried the transmutation, and now he couldn’t at all. _Why_ wasn’t it Ed who was stuck awake all night while Al slept, pouring over every alchemic book and journal he could find, carrying his brother as they travelled around? Sure his brother put on a happy front and carried around a little notebook, his ‘post-body-back’ notebook with all of the things he would try once they succeeded, but Ed _knew_. He just knew that it was all bullshit. He was just waiting for the day that Al blamed him for all of this, and then everyone else would follow suit. It hadn’t taken five minutes for Colonel Bastard to yell at him for it and even though he had (begrudgingly) apologized after Ed had become part of his team, every now and then he could feel a judgemental stare coming from the Flame Alchemist and his sniper. Ed shuddered at the idea of Al giving him that same look with his red, glowing eyes emanating from his armor.

Yeah, that’s what he’d ask Truth. _Why was Al given the worst punishment when it was all Ed's fault?_

That is, as long as he saw Truth again. Maybe Truth only appeared once you performed the one true Taboo. That sounded like something that bastard would do. But would it really matter? Maybe...maybe with him gone Al could truly concentrate on getting his body back and continuing on with his life. At least Winry and Granny would stop having to worry about him, get back to living their lives too without the fear of a phone call from the military. _Again_. Mustang would probably be pissed about losing his prize subordinate, but he’d find some other prodigy to show off. Sure they wouldn’t be as smart as Ed, but they’d probably be good enough. Someone who actually listened to their orders, or at least someone who could’ve saved Nina…

Because honestly, if Ed couldn’t even save a little girl he had just met, was there any real hope in him replacing a suit of armor with real flesh and bone? Maybe it would be better if he just..

“Okay, then I want your word. Promise me that my brother will be alright.” The young Alchemist ordered, staring up at the man for the first time since he had fallen to the ground.

“Brother..” Al whispered from behind them, though no attention was given to him. 

“I will keep that promise.” 

Ed turned his head back down, distantly hearing Al start to yell again but he felt that he was weirdly disconnected from his body. He felt the rain droplets continue, but they were displaced as to where they fell as the stranger’s arm grew closer and closer. He felt fingers touch his golden hair.

He closed his eyes and waited for nothingness.

**Author's Note:**

> And there it is. Hope it was good! Angst is one I'm a little shaky on, never knowing how far I can push it before it becomes too much lol. Please leave a kudos and a comment if you liked it, and please point out any errors you find!


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